Little Reminders For When You Feel Behind In Life
We all set goals for ourselves, milestones that we hope to achieve by certain points in our lives. Sometimes we even map our whole lives out for ourselves: our jobs, our friendships, our relationships, even our experiences. The thing with life is, it hardly ever goes according to plan. We can plan all we want, down to the minutia of details, and we will still find ourselves in scenarios far different than we ever imagined. Growing up, my dad used to tell me that “while we make plans, the universe laughs”. Maybe we could be met with inconvenient hardships that derail our plan, or maybe we meet somebody new and have a wild experience that completely changes our path in the most amazing & unexpected way. Sometimes, it can be hard to see how this redirection is directing us towards what is actually meant for us in life, which is far more accurate than what we think we want or need in life. But it can be even harder to accept this truth when we live in a world of social media, where we can succumb to comparing our own goals and achievements to the promotions, vacations, weddings, and experiences of those around us. Seeing others’ highlight reels online can leave us feeling negative emotions, bringing us to negative thought patterns and feelings of doubt, burnout, or lack of contentment or satisfaction. While we may still feel happy for those around us, sometimes it is normal to feel as if we are not as far along in our lives as we’d like to be or accomplishing the goals we set out for ourselves to achieve. Below are a few reminders I’ve curated to help in moments where we all may feel behind in our own lives.
Anything worth having cannot be rushed.
My mom used to tell me that “good things come to those who wait”. As I have grown up, I have had new experiences and met new people who showed me the truth in that very statement. When we want something good in our lives, whether it be a promotion, relationship, or even vacation, we tend to crave that satisfaction in an immediate nature. However, not everything good needs to have a sense of urgency, and rarely do we ever reap the benefits of it immediately. Remembering that good things take time can be helpful to realize you are where you are in your life journey for good reason.
Your chance to become “successful” never expires.
This one may be my favorite one. Sometimes it is hard to remember that just because someone else around you achieves your idea of “success” before you feel you have, does not mean it will not still be possible for you. Everyone’s timing in life is different; that is the beauty of life! This feeds into our tendency for immediate achievement and success, but remember at any stage in life, you can become successful. “Success” is a subjective term as well, and just as your ability to be “successful” doesn’t expire, neither does the ability to redefine what that word means to you through your life.
Your path is equally valid to those of others.
With the world of social media, it is so easy to see other people’s path and assume just because they have found the love of their life or have been promoted to their dream position within their career that you should be achieving those things too. We all experience our highs and lows, as well as what is meant for us at different times! That is how it is supposed to be. Think about how boring it would be without the element of surprise that comes with everyday. We never know when we will meet the person we are supposed to marry, nor do we know when we can have an chance encounter that brings us closer to our goals. If we all knew the age these milestones were to occur, it would take the serendipity out of life! Remember that your path is no less valid that someone else’s just because they have achieved the same things you hope to achieve at an earlier stage in life. Having trust in the timing of your life can help you realize you are exactly where you need to be.
Nothing in nature blooms all year.
This is another analogy from my childhood I like to tap into. It may be a cliche, but it does hold quite a lot of truth. Nature is beautiful, truly incredible. But its beauty develops in its seasons. While each season is beautiful in its own way, the months that we are usually happiest (spring & summer), need fall & winter in order to achieve their enjoyable temperatures and stunning scenery. That is like our own lives. We all have seasons in our lives. Pockets of good, as well as pockets of bad. Those good moments wouldn’t exist without the bad, and vice versa. But every season, every experience, brings us to our own bloom. Everyone’s life seasons happen at different times. Try to have compassion for yourself and remember that everyone has pockets of good and bad, even if the highlight reels around you lead you to believe otherwise (remember: they are just highlight reels).
Not all growth is visible on the outside right away.
Growth is a long journey, and a lot of it is achieved internally. When we start to achieve our goals, our growth isn’t always visible to the outside world, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t any less valuable. Having appreciation for your own personal growth can be helpful, rather than comparing to the growth or achievements of those around you. It may also be helpful to remember that this is your life, and your growth and accomplishments should be for yourself, not for the validation of others around you. As mentioned earlier, most good things come with time and are not immediate, and your own personal growth and journey to success reflects as such. Have patience and gratitude in your own self journey and the pace of your own life.
It is more valuable to create a life that feels good on the inside than one that “looks good” on the outside.
I hinted at this in the reminder above, but remember that this is your life. We all get one beautiful life to live, with our own dreams, achievements, goals, and successes. While society today has placed such emphasis on sharing our worlds publicly, remember that your life should leave you with true contentment, what ever that looks and feels like to you, not what you think it should look and feel like to others. Try to separate your wants and your goals from the ones you see around you. Highlight reels are simply just that: moments where life “looks” good, but there is so much happening behind the scenes. Remember, there would be no good without the bad & everyone has pockets of bad. Focusing on creating a life that truly feels good to you, rather than creating a perfect facade can help bring you back to your own beautiful journey in life.
