Ways to Deal With Toxic Friendships
Having a strong support system and close friendships is important for a plethora of reasons, but especially for our headspace and overall mental health. As human beings, we are incredibly social in nature and need human interactions to survive. We were not created to thrive in isolation, but rather enjoy the company of others, grow & learn from others, and make memories with others that send our serotonin levels soaring.
However, not all the friendships we have are healthy ones, or ones that benefit us. Sometimes, whether we realize it or not, some friendships can be more hurtful than beneficial, leaving us with unwanted stress, emotional turmoil, and negative feelings about ourselves. Healthy friendships are mutually benefical, allowing us to prosper and grow into the best version of ourselves. Toxic friendships, on the other hand, can be very unpleasant, one-sided, stressful, and even harmful to our emotional and physical well-beings. Toxic friendships can sometimes be hard to identify as such, especially when we are the person in the friendship. A toxic friend may…
Become jealous of your success & happiness.
Create unnecessary drama and stress with gossip.
Make you feel uncomfortable around others.
Lack empathy for experiences that differ from theirs.
However, a healthy friend may…
Encourage and welcome your success & happiness.
Uplift and support others without gossip or talking negatively.
Make you feel safe & accepted, despite any disagreement.
Respect the physical, emotional, and mental boundaries that you set, as well as others.
Some friendships may not serve you as your personal journey progresses, and that is perfectly okay. If you feel like you are in a toxic friendship, a couple ways of handling it could look like…
Setting boundaries that will gradually help distance yourself from the friendship. This doesn’t mean you have to cut your friend off entirely, but it will help you recognize what is healthy for you and help protect your peace.
Using “I” statements in conversations where you express how you feel. This will help your friend be more receptive to your thoughts and feelings as you are not placing the blame directly on his or her behaviors. Instead, you’re simply explaining how his or her actions make you feel.
Taking each conversation and conflict with your friend with a grain of salt. It may be helpful to not put as much effort into a friendship that you know is not healthy for you.
Not all the friends we make at various stages in our lives will remain in our lives forever. Sometimes, friends are to teach us temporary lessons, and other times, they serve as a stepping stone to bring us to stronger and more-long lasting connections. As we get older, it is totally normal to outgrow friends, especially if the friendship is no longer serveing us. Friendships should be uplifting and happy connections, so if you sense a friendship is anything but a positive influence in your life, it is more than okay to distance yourself and move forward. The best friendships celebrate our successes, support us in both the happy and hard times, and ultimately help us learn and grow into the best versions of ourselves.
