How to Navigate Uncomfortable Holiday Dinner Conversations
The holiday season is well underway, full of festive gatherings and merry get-to-togethers. Friends & family prioritize spending time with one another, catching up with one another’s lives as family recipes are exchanged and home cooked meals are served. The holidays can be a beautiful way to spend extra quality time with loved ones & indulge in your family’s favorite traditions, but it can also mean being asked those dreadful questions or finding yourself in the middle of those difficult & stressful conversations. While it is always a good idea to keep conversation light & positive, not everyone at the dinner table may have the same idea. I’ve curated some helpful ways to navigate & handle those uncomfortable and difficult conversations below.
01
When you enter a family gathering, holiday dinner, or friends gathering of any kind, remind yourself to stay calm and embody your most confident self. Entering such events with a positive attitude and aura can help set the tone for positivity. Whether it be a quick breathing meditation, a brief conversation with a trusted loved one, or simply a visualization technique, try your best to calm your mind and body, as well as keep an upbeat demeanor.
02
Some topics may cause you to feel uncomfortable because you aren’t sure the best way to contribute to the conversation, or respond. Try your best to handle difficult topics with a soft & gentle heart. It is really important to offer love, support, and security to those who are suffering, especially during a time that places such an emphasis on family & friends. Compassion can mean a lot to someone who is struggling.
03
It may be a helpful idea to include children into the conversations during family dinners or gatherings. It helps to avoid heated or uncomfortable conversations, as well as help the children feel more included in the family dinner table talk. Making sure everyone feels included is so important, and it serves as an additional buffer to those dreaded conversation topics.
04
A fun way to keep the mood light could be planning and organizing holiday-themed activities for everyone at the dinner or gathering to enjoy. It could be a great way to let your creative side take the wheel and plan activities for all ages. This could include holiday-themed arts & crafts, a friendly bake-off or cook-off, or even simply watching a seasonal movie with everyone.
05
If a loved one, relative, or friend begins to provoke you or others at the dinner table, try your best to refrain from reacting. While it is totally okay to feel any emotions internally, take some deep breaths, and instead of responding emotionally, don’t take the bait. Instead, it may be a helpful idea to change the topic of conversation, or excuse yourself politely from the dinner table.
06
On a similar note to the previous tip, if you feel agitated or upset by a topic of conversation or loved one’s comment, it is totally okay to excuse yourself and take a breather. Some helpful breathers could include going for a brief walk, running a quick errand, finding a quiet space to practice calming techniques, or talk with a relative who brings you solace and comfort.
07
Sometimes we respond to triggering conversations emotionally, and other times we may say things to trigger others at the dinner table unknowingly. If you have said something that may have offended or hurt another loved one’s feelings, make the effort to offer an apology. Even if we inadvertently hurt someone else, validating their feelings and apologizing for how our words may have made them feel is always so important. Having respectful conversations about our feelings during these times helps avoid any additional uncomfortable conflict as well.
08
This last tip may be the most important one… It may be a really helpful idea to work towards accepting that you can’t change a person’s beliefs or opinions. Your friends & family are entitled to their own beliefs, even if you may not agree with that. It is totally okay to disagree, but try to remind yourself that their beliefs do not have to align with yours. Working towards a place of acceptance will encourage peaceful conversation, as well as help bring you more inner peace.
