Small Ways to Unlearn Urgency Culture
Over the past year, I’ve really come to learn how often we tend to move through our day as if we were under a constant pressure, or maybe even a threat. When we find ourselves rushing everywhere all of the time, we begin to lose the pleasure in living our experiences and we miss out on the sweetness in our day-to-day that is already here.
We live in an age that rewards urgency and a constant hustle. Filling our schedules to their maximum capacity and ensuring our productivity is above average has become evidence of success in all areas of our lives: in work, in relationships, and in how we feel we are perceived by others. We begin to fear falling behind, failing, becoming forgotten, missing out, or not measuring up, and as a result find ourselves on a never-ending hamster wheel of always doing, rarely arriving, and never being quite done.
We see things in our lives through the lens of “we are,'“ rather than the lens of “they are”. In other words, when we are dysregulated whether it be overwhelm, anxiety, or exhaustion, our nervous system leads us to perceive everything as a kind of emergency. Over time, our nervous system adapts to this pace, becoming all too familiar with a sympathetic tone of flight-or-flight. A messy house feels quite stressful, a pinging phone feels intrusive, and a calendar with a to-do list feels utterly overwhelming. Our body begins to scan things as a threat, even if it may not be one. In turn, we create a loop where when everything feels rushed, it also begins to feel like a threat. The truth is, most things can wait. Most tasks, most messages, and “shoulds” are not genuine emergencies. Taking a breath and naming our state gives our mind space to see our reality a bit more clearly.
While it is a habit that has become deeply ingrained in our belief system and society as a whole, it functions like all other habits where it can be broken. Like most things, breaking this habit is a gentle process. It is not undone through forceful relaxation or stillness, nor through discipline. Rather, we gently unlearn urgency through the reintroduction of slowness and showing our body that it is actually safe to move at a slower pace, over and over again.
We also can begin to practice tolerating being in the normal human messiness of life… some of the most powerful work we can do lies in finding peace and regulation among the chaos in our lives. The common thought that we will allow ourselves to rest once everything is “finished” is waiting for something that will never arrive. While life may have seasons where more calm is present than chaos, this kind of urgency culture enforces that there is always something more to do, sending times of rest well into our rearview. However, as our regulation returns, perception softens and we can see our same lives through a new calm lens. Clarity comes to us when we slow down enough to see the true presence of our lives.
Below are some helpful ways and practices, rooted in yoga philosophy, that I use to remind myself to embrace a slower nature of life when I find myself being swept up in old habits.
Yoga Philosophy to Navigate Urgency Culture
In yoga philosophy, there are terms that can help guide us through the human experience of life, and are useful to intellectualize and practice in our everyday life. Below are a few terms that can help us slow down in a world rewarded by urgency.
Vidya | “Clear Seeing”
Misperception and not seeing clearly, is called avidya… and it is considered the root of suffering. This is when we don’t see things as they are, but rather as we are. Our reality becomes tainted by stories, wounds, and past conditioning. When we are dysregulated, urgency becomes a form of avidya, where we mistake our nervous system activation for truth, pressure for importance, and speed for safety. Vidya is the opposite, and I can best equate it to wiping a smudge from our glasses, allowing our vision to be clear once again.
Vairagya | “Non-Clinging”
We often interpret this as “non-attachment” or the perception of seeing nonchalant, but rather, at its heart vairagya is about releasing our tight grip. When we cling to outcomes or the desire for things to be a certain way, we create an inevitable kind of tension. When we loosen this grip, we create space to listen, to move, and to trust the process in allowing new possibilities to arise.
Samskara | “Imprints”
Samskara are the impressions left on us by past experiences, forming the automatic grooves in our mind. Over time, these imprints become patterns that may look like control, rushing, or perfectionism. This ideology is crucial in understanding that these imprints are not who we are, but rather conditioned pathways that have been repeated over and over again.
Small Everyday Ways to Unlearn Urgency Culture
Practice Walking at a Pace that Feels Annoying
When our sympathetic nervous system is stuck in a sympathetic state, we often subconsciously rush, where speed and momentum begin to feel quite familiar. Sometimes, choosing to walk behind someone who is walking at a slower pace than us can help us make contact with the present moment. It allows us to turn inward and focus on the amount of frustration that may arise in our bodies, and allow ourselves to sit with that discomfort while we embrace a slower pace.
Resist Using Your Phone in Every Free Moment
Let the in-between moments of our productivity be empty and “non-productive". Let the mind become bored and let it wander… in such a fast-paced world, we have become disconnected from sitting with healthy boredom, perceiving it as a threat instead. Rather, it is simply existing. Choosing to resist using our phones in these moments reduces constant stimulation and teaches the nervous system that nothing needs to happen in this very second. We don’t have to respond to all of our text messages, and emails or catch up on life admin… it is okay to simply exist.
Say “I’ll See How I Feel” Rather than Plan Everything
Instead of treating our bodies like a machine and following rigid work, exercise, and life schedules, it is better to check in with our body and headspace each day and adjust our movement and pace in accordance. This helps rebuild intuition and reduce stress-driven control.
Shift Your Mindset
Instead of asking ourselves “How much can I get done?”, ask yourself instead “How relaxed can I be while doing my to-do list?” This simple shift in how we talk to ourselves allows us to shift out of an adrenaline-based productivity. In turn, it helps us to become more present while we move through the tasks on our to-do list, making the whole process more enjoyable as a result.
Leave Earlier than You May Feel You Need to
When we are in a dysregulated state, we may choose to leave at the last possible moment and rush to our destination. Instead, give yourself an extra five to ten minutes of buffer time to allow for some breathing space. This will help to interrupt this habitual and sometimes addictive stress loop our mind and nervous system has come to learn.
Practice Single-Tasking Rather than Multi-Tasking
When we multi-task, having a million tabs open in our mind and switching between them, it keeps our nervous system on very high alert. If we focus on one task at a time, it allows us to become more mindful and connected to the present moment. For instance, try practicing mindful eating, making the time to sit down and enjoy your meal without a screen or distraction. Instead, it allows your mind and body to be present in noticing the flavors, textures, and colors.
The beautiful thing about adapting to a slower pace of life is it as simple to learn as urgency culture is to unlearn. This is not who we are, but rather when speed, stimulation, or productivity have been paired with safety or approval, the body learns to rush. Because this pattern is learned, it can be retrained through repeated experiences of slowness, while feeling safe, embracing a slower and calmer way of life.
